Why Does It Hurt?
by Rainbow.hoshi
Summary: How ironic, he thought miserably. The Bookman Junior who wasn't supposed to have a heart was going to be betrayed by it in the end. *WARNING* there is character death ahead. Don't like? Don't read. Please no flamers!
1. Chapter 1

Why does it hurt Lavi?

A chilled wind blew through the dense forest whipping dead foliage off the ground and blowing it up in small clouds. Near the edge of the forest, where the trees grew more sparse, a smell of blood hung in the air.

_I thought you were a bookman? _

Deep crimson stained the tree. Chains could be heard faintly, scraping together as the body under them moved ever so slightly, still alive but dying, still conscious but weak.

_You weren't supposed to have a heart._

Tatters of cloth covered the base of the tree; what could have once been a headband but was now just a few scraps of material and possibly the end of a sleeve. Blood dotted and pooled on the ground slowly drying in the cool winter wind. Soft footsteps echoed through the forest, lazily approaching the crimson tree. A hand reached out and stroked the red hair that hung messily on the one chained to the tree.

The owner of the hand leaned in and whispered his name in his ear, "Lavi."

Hearing his name being spoken so familiarly by someone he so despised, sent shivers down his back making it itch against the rough bark of the tree.

_You weren't supposed to have a heart, right? _

The hand traced lines on his cheek before slowly moving down to press hard against his chest. He could feel the hot breath tickle his face as the dark haired Noah breathed. Although he knew it was futile he struggled against the chains that pulled on his body, keeping it firmly secured to the base of the tree.

The hand on his chest pushed harder. "So I'll do you a favour and rip it out of your chest!" As the words exited the Noah's lips, his hand passed through Lavi's chest as though it were water and carefully tightened around his still beating heart.

Lavi's breath caught in his throat as a small amount of pressure was applied around his heart, squeezing it, making it hard to breath. Although his eye was open, he could barely see. It was glazed over with exertion and near death. His face was hot, but his body was numb.

A stick broke under a foot. A third breath joined the first two. The hand slipped back out of his chest and tightened on his shoulder instead, as Tyki Mikk turned to face the newcomer.

Lavi couldn't see a face, only a white blur. He couldn't hear their conversation, as short as it was. The last thing he remembered seeing was a flurry of movement before the hand holding his shoulder moved to his throat and grasped tightly, constricting his airways. He choked and gasped painfully before he blacked out.

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Hope you enjoyed it! I know its only short but i was tossing up whether or not to continue it, if you did like it and want to read more than please review and tell me, :D


	2. Chapter 2

Lavi's mind was lingering between consciousness and unconsciousness. His head was spinning and he felt nauseous. His body was weighed down by invisible weights. His back ached against what felt like hard stone. He was unbelievably cold, and his body would have been shivering, or probably was, but he couldn't feel it due to the numbness of pain. A slow ache spread down his neck and to his spine making him bite his lips to stifle a painful moan.

In sudden realisation, Lavi's eyes flew open. His brain was lethargic and slowly started to take in his surroundings. First he noticed that he was no longer tied by metal chains to a tree. He was still however coated in blood, as was the solid stone ground beneath him. Secondly he noticed that he was still alive. He didn't know why, but he knew that he should be dead. Someone had tried to kill him.

_And failed?_

Lavi experimentally flexed his wrists only to discover the inevitable. He was still bound; what felt like tight plaited rope was securing his opposite wrists to elbows behind his back and another shorter length of the plaited rope bound his legs just above the knees.

_Why would someone who attempted to kill you let you live?_

His hair was glued to his face in cold sweat and he could feel the scant amounts of clothing on his body. What he was wearing was ripped and soiled, encrusted in his dried blood. Freezing, in pain and more vulnerable than he had ever felt, a sudden fear that no amount of hard work can get out from the front of his mind settled there and slowly drove him into hysteria. His heart pounded at a rapid pace that filled the small stone room with its off-beat throb.

_Are you even worth leaving alive?_

Lavi squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath believing this was a dream, or rather hoping it was.

_It could be quick, painless!_

He heard a door open into the room and the soft footfalls that signalled someone's approach, without much warning at all a hand shot down and yanked at his shirtfront dragging him to his feet.

_Just say the words,_

A breath tickled his neck and a hand slithered around his throat.

_Ask him for it,_

He was faintly surprised when no pressure was applied to constrict his airways and he continued his laboured breathing. He didn't risk opening his eyes, he somehow knew who it was but didn't want to confirm it as though not knowing would make it less humiliating. "Are you afraid of me, boy?"

_Just ask, and it will all end._

He managed a small shake of his head without re-awakening the nausea that had only recently subsided. He felt the dark laugh against his skin when his captor easily saw through his pretence.

_End it…_

Lavi's eye flickered when the next question from his captor's mouth was pulled from his very mind, "are you questioning your resolve to live?"

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maybe its not as good as the last, tell me what you think, i only decided to continue because i felt bad about leaving it the way i did, which probs means i would still have to continue it... XD anyways, be honest and review it, ill be sending xoxoxo's your way!


	3. Chapter 3

*WARNING* Character death ahead! Don't read if you don't like!

I finally decided to finish this off~ its been a while, a really long while, and I apologize for the delay. Truthfully I had forgotten all about this story! I know...I'm such a bad author, but I've finally finished it now! And I hope you like it!~

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_What do you really want?_

Lavi had never really stopped to ponder this question before. Sure he knew what he wanted when it came to dinner and everything trivial like that. But when it came to the real thing, living or dying, he had never even thought about how he would want to go. He had faced death on countless times but never before had he asked himself what he would do if he really were to die. Would he helplessly cling to his life? Would he beg to be spared? Or would he simply accept his demise and let death take him?

His thoughts were interrupted by that deep voice next to his ear. "You know I could've killed you already."

It wasn't a question, Lavi realised. He was being taunted. Teased like a fly caught under a jar. He could see freedom but he knew it was his captor's choice whether or not he would get out of this alive.

He couldn't speak. The hand around his throat wasn't tight enough to stop his ability to talk, but an unusual mixture of fear and resolution had made his throat dry and his words couldn't come out.

_Allen. . . Lenalee. . .even Yu. . .what would they do in this situation? What should you do? _

Lavi tried not to think about his friends. He devastatingly knew how they would feel if they found out he was giving up so easily. Would they understand how he felt? His body ached. He could barely move and he was literally being held off the ground by his throat. The tips of his mud crusted boots only just scraped against the concrete floor.

"You have nothing to say?" Tyki Mikk's voice was low and dangerous. Lavi knew he was mocking him. It was like a ritual for Noah to ridicule exorcist's before killing them. And Lavi was not going to give him the satisfaction of an answer.

_So is that it? You're going to give up?_

Was he? Of course Lavi had considered in the first few moments of his options to escape. But when it came down to it he knew it was impossible. With every ounce of dignity he had Lavi decided it was his time.

_You're really giving up? Without a fight?_

Not giving up, Lavi thought bitterly. He did fight. And he lost. This is the consequences of losing. And like a man he was going to bare them. With what little strength he did have left Lavi tried to croak out what he knew would be his last words. "J-just do it..."

Lavi savoured the brief flutter of confusion that appeared in Tyki's eyes before the hand around his throat constricted a little more and he was starting to lose his breath.

"That's all? Very well," Tyki began in his deep voice. Lavi prepared himself as he was lifted slightly higher. He closed his eyes and in his mind he said a quick goodbye to everyone he knew. But when a few seconds passed and he was still in pain and still aware of Tyki's hand around his neck he peeped his eyes open. Tyki's mouth was curved in a wicked smile. His eyes were glowing golden and overall he exuded a menacing and evil aura. Lavi's stomach clenched in fear. "You know...I had a thought that you might want to see your little friends one last time." Tyki's evil smile stretched across his face. "So I'll give you your last pleasure of saying goodbye face to face. Hmm? Would you like that? I am the Noah of Pleasure after all."

Lavi shook his head. His eyes were wide with fear. His resolution was wavering and all of a sudden he had a desperate want to live. Tyki laughed a deep and throaty sound. He pulled Lavi forward and grabbing him around the waist he hoisted him over his shoulder.

The doorway that Lavi had assumed Tyki had entered from was not even a part of the stone room they were in. It was one of Road's portals. Lavi squeezed his eyes shut as Tyki entered the portal and a few moments passed before a blinding light was burning on the other side of Lavi's eyelids. He blinked carefully until he could see the grassy ground below him and the watery sunlight pouring down from the cloudy sky above.

Tyki had appeared in the middle of a swampy clearing. A short distance from Tyki and Lavi was a group of exorcist who immediately tensed at the sudden appearance of the Noah. But as they saw who had accompanied the Noah one of them shouted out.

"LAVI!"

Lavi couldn't hold back the few tears that sprung to his eyes when he heard Allen's scream. When Tyki simply pulled him upright again and pushed him slightly in front he stumbled and would've fallen if it weren't for Tyki's hand holding his arm.

Lavi could see Allen, Lenalee and Kanda running for him from across the swamp. The dirty water splashing around them and soaking them. Lavi felt a small flutter in his heart. His friends really did care about him. The feeling in his chest was instantly replaced by a cold hand clutching his heart, literally.

Gasping at the horrible sensation of being held by his heart Lavi felt his mind collapsing on itself. This was it. He was about to die. Some part of him was glad he could see his friends one last time before he left this world. How ironic, he thought miserably. The Bookman Junior who wasn't supposed to have a heart was going to be betrayed by it in the end.

_NO! I change my mind! I don't want to die!_

Lavi's eyes started to close as his heart was squeezed none too gently by the Noah behind him. He coughed and felt the blood trickle down his chin.

_Let me live!_

The running figures that were so close but still too far began to blur.

_LAVI YOU FOOL! Why are you giving up?!_

His body was numb. His heart was beating rapidly. He was aware that it was the only thing he could feel. The rapid thrum of his heart beating for its life.

"LAAAVI!"

That was the last thing he heard before the cold hand clenched tightly. His heart let out a few last desperate beats before giving up and everything went black.

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Wow...this is really depressing isn't it? I'm sorry! By the way if you didn't pick up on it, the parts in italics represented Lavi's inner mind (kinda his actual bookman half). Well there it is. I finished it! YAY! Err...hope you enjoyed it despite how miserable it is~ anyway, if you did like this please leave a review! PLEASE REVIEW! I love hearing your comments and encouragement! And if you want me to write another D. Gray Man fic just ask! :) I would love to...so leave a review and tell me who you want me to write about next! I promise not to kill them off too ;)

Thank you! xx


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